Infectious Disease

24 murders in 2 weeks......BALTIMORE, YOU'RE KILLING ME....literally. Men: Fathers, Sons, Uncles, Friends...men who look like me. Why is this not considered a public health emergency? Being shot is awfully unhealthy. As such, would those at risk be eligible for treatment through the Center for Disease Control? Catching a bullet is a risk factor. What would the treatment be? Immunization would be possible either through issuance of kevlar body armor to those at risk or maybe......gun control and restrictions? (You like how I snuck that in there? Come on. You knew where I was going with this.)  

The Impact of Fatherhood Initiatives in Baltimore

When the bond between a father and child breaks, it harms more than two people.  It damages the community, and its effect can be felt for generations.  Save that relationship and we will save ourselves.  (LaRosa & Rank, 2001)

 

Last night was the second night I’ve watched my city self-destruct with police in riot gear and in formation, with the National Guard patrolling our streets.  As a veteran, I’m painfully aware of what a military presence means and of its capabilities.  All of this is taking place in my city.  I reflect upon that simple statement of “my city”.  I am a Baltimorean.  I reside barely within the limits of Baltimore City, not by choice, but by circumstance.  As a result of an agreement with my ex-wife, I moved here in 2003.   We planned to raise a family here, stay for a few years, and then move on.  Within the first year, I realized that I didn’t particularly care for Baltimore.  As we all know, life happens.   I ended up divorced, with shared custody of two young children in a city and state where I have no family, no connections, no ties.  I was not particularly pleased with this turn of events. My life turned out differently than I planned, but throughout the years,    I’ve come to accept my situation and to make the best of it. I’ve met good friends, spent time in just about all areas of the city, claimed the Ravens as my own, and have made it…..”home”. 

I’ve always enjoyed the intersection of history and economics.  I often wonder which in fact is causational. Do economic factors drive events or do events drive economic situations?  As Santayana stated, “Those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it”.  Baltimore became known as Mob Town in the press dating back to 1837, with several occurrences of group lawlessness leading up to the attack on Union soldiers passing through in 1861. There are obviously still many among us who remember the riots of 1968 following the assassination of Dr.  Martin Luther King Jr.  Yes, we’ve had a history of destruction of property from angry citizens.  When I arrived in the 2003, I noticed the severity of social ills in Baltimore.  I noticed the tremendous divide and inequity between neighborhoods separated many times by no physical boundaries, yet separated thousands of miles economically.  I noticed the pathetic status of the public school system. I noticed the number of young men, mostly of my complexion, with nowhere to go during business hours.  Of course, I noticed what could not be avoided when traveling beyond the Inner Harbor but not quite into Catonsville, Reisterstown, Parkville, Essex or Dundalk.  The number of vacant homes in disrepair is astounding and embarrassing to explain to visitors.  I’ve traveled down streets that remind me of streets in Afghanistan, which has been constantly at war since the 1970’s.  The only obvious differences being Afghanistan and Baltimore are the roads in Baltimore are paved and the buildings are three stories instead of two.  I covered business banking for the downtown area and being out and about each day, it took me only a short while to notice the tremendous hopelessness, despair, and stress on the streets of the silent and often invisible neighborhoods in  Baltimore.  This Baltimore is not visible at the Inner Harbor, Fells Point, or Canton.  But to see it, we only need to open our eyes which will cause us to shed tears at some of the daily sights. 

My career progressed, and truth be told regressed at times, yet I grew deeper in my understanding of the various factors at play that have led to our current situation. It isn’t hard and it’s the same cast of characters and ills that plague every city: lack of employment opportunities, underperforming school systems, insufficient public transportation, lasting effects of the recession, selective gentrification, the effects of the war on drugs, etc., etc.  Over the years, I have searched long and hard and realized that what enables us to be resilient is the family unit.  A series of events led to my “ah ha moment”.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not pushing marriage on anyone….it didn’t work well for me, but that’s a different story….What we are really talking about here is the lack of Fatherhood, involvement, capacity, and guidance.  Having my epiphany moment and utilizing my professional experience, I formed House of David, Advocates for Fathers, Inc. as a non-profit organization on Father’s Day 2011.   I sat on this idea for three years, mentally conceptualizing and structuring it while agonizing about the feasibility until the time was right.  In 2013, another series of events led to an unexpected amount of free time (yet another story) and I decided it was time. 

How could anyone deny the cause of our social ills? Having done the research, and traveling to Philadelphia and the West Coast to learn best practices, the organization’s operation was launched.  My intent was to provide men with the knowledge and skills needed to be more engaged in the lives of their children.  If an organization could facilitate this involvement, it would bring about a change in attitude, focus and priorities, sense of responsibility, work ethic, mental strength, and yes….resiliency that comes from the guidance of a properly equipped and engaged Father.  Academically, I sought to bring about cognitive behavioral change in Fathers who are experiencing difficulty.  Who wouldn’t fund this initiative? I believed this was a no brainer.   I was met with resistance and after a while I began to anticipate the likely responses:  “There are plenty of organizations whose missions are similar”, “Organization X owns that space”, “Have you considered partnering or merging with X”, or “Do we need another Fatherhood organization?”  From several local government departments, I’ve received: “We don’t have the funding to support….”, “We already provide this service...”, and “We already have an initiative that seeks the same results….”.  Obviously, these are all solutions that have been successful and clearly point to successful outcomes, hence our current situation of troops in our streets. Maybe, I simply haven’t been around long enough to know how and why we do things the way we do in Baltimore, or why new initiatives won’t work, and in understanding that our community’s problems are completely under control.  Maybe I haven’t seen enough of the dire situation within our community. 

I refuse to adopt the mindset of many decision makers whose answer to our cultural issues are simply more of the same.  The recent riots, destruction of property, and other acts of civil disobedience clearly show that the current focus, direction, funded initiatives, and minimal outcomes are simply ineffective.  The status quo of supportive services to those in need cannot continue.  I will never stop believing that a Father who is fully engaged in the lives of his children keeps his children close to him instead of allowing them to throw stones at authority figures and to loot and destroy the property of others.  He helps his children understand the need to pursue goals and plan for the future. He inspires them to move the family name forward with a positive impact on the community.  I accept that the my organization’s mission and purpose lack the corporate and financial backing necessary before getting buy-in.  However, the 110 Fathers we have already served, the Board of Directors, and myself will hold on and continue to provide services without funding.  Our program is holistic and doesn’t simply attempt to apply a quick bandage when the patient has other symptoms.  We have and will continue to assist Fathers in the detention centers, half-way homes, transitional shelters, and as referrals from various offices of child support and enforcement and from Baltimore’s Drug Court. We know that the role of a Father matters and makes a difference. 

Yours in Fatherhood,

David T. Clements

Teachable Moments

Life is full of teachable moments.  Today had more than it's fair share.  Although it's been several years, I think of Steve whenever I hear the term "teachable moment." I'm not sure if he used the term frequently or not, but for some reason, it resonated with me and it still does.

This evening's chaos began with a missing elbow pad that went unnoticed until I was closing the front door.  Several minutes later, my 8 year old son realized that it was hopelessly lost and I realized that we would be late.  A teachable moment of "keeping your gear near," putting things back in their place, and not waiting until the last minute. 

When we arrived on the field 15 minutes late, we noticed the 9 year old boys team was absent.  Apparently the practice location had been changed, to an area of town of which I am unfamiliar.  I immediately assigned the failure to pass on the changed location information to my ex-wife, but held my tongue and harnessed my thoughts. As I sped my way across town, I discussed the relevant issues of this situation.  My 7 year old daughter overheard my inquiry as to the exact location of the other field, and quickly (and accurately I might add) assessed that Daddy was not exactly sure of the directions.  As they sat in silence in the rear of the minivan, I realized this was a teachable moment of being flexible, not placing blame, remaining positive, and staying focused. 

We traveled to this unknown part of town, rumored to be just north of the city.  And we traveled. And we traveled. There are very nice, long, winding roads and large homes as one travels northbound on Falls Road.  However, the intersection of Joppa and Falls is located much closer to the city.  Apparently, according to the regulars of an unnamed watering hole on Falls Road, most people miss this intersection also.  The remnants of my dignity and I climbed back into the minivan and realized that this too was a teachable moment that we sometimes make mistakes.  To belabor them is useless, but to remain calm and upbeat is essential. 

We finally arrived on the field for the last quarter 10 minutes of the practice game.  My son quickly borrowed an elbow pad, was placed in the game, and made an excellent ground ball recovery and shot a goal within minutes.  The fact that we missed almost all of the game was lost as he happily received his team jersey, identifying him as a member of this year's All Star team.  This teachable moment needed no acknowledgement. 

I certainly didn't enjoy the time spent behind the wheel this evening.  Nor was I appreciative of my fuel gauge indicating the miles driven.  However, I had two happy children in the last row of seats and enjoyed the teachable moment conversations with my children.  I couldn't help but smile as we pulled up to the house.  I again realized that as a Father, half the battle is being aware of teachable moments...the other half is realizing that your actions and reactions to life's unpredictable scenarios, and in fact your interaction with the world at large, is being watched by smaller eyes.

It should be noted that Steve was raised primarily by his Father.  I'm sure he was an outstanding Father, as is Steve.  In the short time that I worked for Steve, I was very fortunate to haphazardly grasp this crucial piece of parenting knowledge without truly understanding the significance at the time.  A teachable moment....paths cross for a reason.  Thank you, Steve.

A Saturday Afternoon Helper

I met Shemar this past weekend while putting together a grill on a friend's patio.  It's a very large apartment complex, with the rear of several buildings facing each other to create a very nice landscaped community backyard. Several children had been playing together earlier in this “backyard.”  However, Shemar seemed to appear after the others had left.  After looking curiously at what I was doing, he began to chat with me.  He shared with me the usual details as we chatted: age 7, second grade, likes cartoons, riding his bike, etc.  However, suddenly Shemar shared with me that he didn't think he has a Dad.  Naturally, I informed him that everyone has a Dad, to which he clarified that his Mother didn't know where he was. 

Life isn't always simple, and there may be valid reasons for his Father's absence.  However, hearing a seven year old explain his Father's absence was painful.  I quickly changed the subject and engaged him in other conversation while completing my task.  As the time went by, I noticed that no adult had appeared. I expected to soon hear a voice calling for him to return, but there was none.  As Shemar began to assist me in putting together the grill, I couldn’t help but to imagine how easily a child could disappear into a stranger's apartment in a very large complex.  I couldn't help but to think of how kind, mannerly, and trusting he was.  I also couldn't help but to consider just how badly he wanted the attention of a male figure.

Certification

Greetings, Fathers!